CHAPTER SIX
“Dear My Beloved Zeke,
I hope this letter finds you safe and sound. I know it is been almost a month since we were not able to see each other, but it feels like an eternity. I miss the sound of your voice and being able to look at you. I can remember the day we met like it was yesterday.
To be honest, I have so many mixed feelings these past
few days that I can hardly wonder where to start. The moments being with you, moments
that will remain in my heart forever, although I know that those moments were
seemingly unpleasant to you. I am very well
aware of my mischiefs that I have done just to get your attention.
Knowingly, I will not deny that it hurts, because a
part of me is still where you are. But I am also aware that things have changed
enormously and I learned that love will never be done by force or orders,
rather, by natural flow and let it find you.
And if it is not meant to be, it would never mean to be.
What I am meaning to say to you is: I will no longer
force myself on you. These past few weeks I have realized all the wrongful
things that I did whom you don’t truly deserve.
It is true that the moments being with you are days
that would not change for anything in the world, although today I feel like
crying and I keep wondering, if am I doing the right thing?
Your affection is all that I wanted, but I forgot to
ask if you are really happy being with me. Without consulting to your own
feelings, I followed you everywhere, clung to you like a leech. This greed of
mine increasingly day by day caused nothing but unfortunate memories for you. I
can’t even think on how did I get to this point? I guess these are answers that
I will take a little while to discover, or maybe I will never know.
Now the end of one of the most beautiful and painful
stages of my life has come, but I don’t regret loving you, but I learned that I
should have let go of this feeling. I promised that I will never ever bother
you again, and I truly wholeheartedly seeking your forgiveness for all the
unpleasant things that I have instigated.
To prove it to you, by the next school year, I will
show that I have changed for the better. I will focus to my study and embrace my
responsibility and obligations as a noble and to be a proud daughter of Marquess
Croix.
To end this letter, I would like you to know that I
will always pray for your well-being and success in the future. I wish you the
best of luck.
Yours Truly,
Beatrice Delavine Croix”
With
mental rejection and contestability, Zeke asked again to Alec, who is standing
right beside him. “Is this letter really coming from the lady?
“Yes, Mr. President. The seal of the Marquess Croix
Family engraved on the envelop.”, politely
answered, mixed with disconcerted, by Alec.
It
is been a week since Lady Beatrice sent a letter again to him. Truth be told,
he never opens or read the letters she delivered every day, because he only
finds it annoyingly and ruined his day, but the letter today is different. The words written on the envelop, “My last
letter for you.”, deeply caught Zeke’s curiosity that he ended reading it.
He
can’t believe that the lady, who never failed to spy him everywhere just to be
able to follow him wherever he goes, the parties, the hunting games, and even,
his little errands which in actuality, the days he sneaked out from their
estate that anyone would impossible to know, declared through letter that she
is now letting go of him. In addition, she is seeking his forgiveness for all
her mischiefs.
He
can’t help to fill suspicions towards the intention of the lady. It is highly
impossible for her to suddenly act this way. But he also did not deny the
possibility of his prayers every night to be granted by God, that may be Lady
Beatrice found a man more suitable to her. And if it is only simple just like
that, he will be truly happy and enthusiastically send his blessing unto the
lady, but that would be too impossible to happen in just mere three weeks. He remembered how the lady brutally and
violently treated those women who tried to be close to him. That proves that in two years, since their
meeting, the lady was deadly hooked on him.
“This letter is undeniably distrustful.”, he uttered with disbelief and qualms.
****-------****
Roanne,
who is possessing the body of Lady Beatrice, happily woke up early this
morning. She stretched her arms high
above. After mulling herself over a week in writing a letter for the male lead,
Zeke, and the same was surely delivered by now, she felt that the thorn
piercing her in the chest was softly pulled out.
As
she expected, Zeke must have already read the letter yesterday. She also
anticipated the fact that the male lead might not even care to check or read
the letters sent by the real Lady Beatrice, that is why, she intentionally
noted on the back of the envelop the words, “My last letter for you.”, for
insurance.
She
alighted from her bed. Her body felt fresh and light as she merrily circled and
spun around in the wide bedroom with joyful humming.
The
letter she sent to the young heir of the Duke Aland was purposely filled with
love, farewell, and apology. After discovering that Lady Beatrice always sends
letters to the male lead every day, at first, she felt anxious and alarmed on
what would she do about it if she was the real one.
But
then on, an idea struck her, “I am not the real one. I am not Lady Beatrice.
I am not her.”, she thought. “I am not Lady Beatrice.”, then, she
loudly spoke it again. “I am not her so why would I need to be so anxious
about.”, she said again while holding her forehead because of the
realization came into view.
“I am not Lady Beatrice. I am Roanne and I am now the
one who is possessing this body. I am now responsible to this body. Bullshit
that novel’s plot. I will write my own fate. I will rewrite the cruel fate of
Beatrice Delavine Croix as the villainess. Screwed that story.”, she inwardly exclaimed to herself
while raising her both hands with closed fist.
She
thought on what she only needs to do and that is to avoid or to befriend the
heroine, Canaria, and to never ever bother the male lead, Zeke. She musingly
added that she will make her own role as a side character rather becoming the
villainess of this story and only faced a cruel death in the end. Cruel
death. She hurriedly shook her head from the idea that suddenly popped out.
It
was engraved in her mind by her parents that the phrase, “give up”, is for
those weak and coward, and she was not.
She always put herself optimistically facing all the challenges thrown at
her by this cruel world. Stumbling on the road doesn’t mean that she needs to
stop. Life always goes on and if she like nice things, she just needed to work
for it.
With
the thought of her parents suddenly appeared, Roanne sat down on the sofa while
likely her ecstatic energy depleted in one second. “I miss them.”, her
sadly short remarked. Tears started to flow to her cheeks.
Knock knock.
“Lady Beatrice. It is your maid, Marielle.”, said by the woman to the other
side of the door.
Hearing
the voice of Marielle, Roanne musings ended. She then hurriedly approached the
bed and pulled the blanket over her lower body, and gently wipe her tears using
the same. She also checked her appearance with the small mirror beside the bed.
With no trace of crying on her face, she cleared her throat before answering
the one who called her behind the doors.
“Yes, Marielle. You may come in.”
The
door opened and released the maid, Marielle. She is holding a basin with
lukewarm water and a white towel hanged on her right arm as she ordered to her
last time that she wanted to wash her face early in the morning.
She
told the maid that starting last week, she will wake up early than the usual
hour. Afterall, even obtaining a body of an eleven-year old girl, she is still
a fully grown woman inside, specifically, with the age of 27. She was not lazy
enough like the girl who originally owned this body.
After
putting down the basin on the table and placing the towel beside it, Marielle
approached the closet and took a mat inside. Then, she well spreads it on the
floor.
At
first, the maid strangely took her orders about it as she boldly declared that
she wanted to stretch her arms and legs every morning. She used the word,
“stretch” because she is not well aware if the word “exercise” was already a
common practice in this era, especially on women.
Medieval
time is one of the very conservative and preserved eras known in her real time.
Woman is used to wear big dresses and tight corset inside molding their body
shapely, and also, used for attracting perspective husband. Further, good
manners and etiquette are essential in a noble life. One of the advantages for
Roanne, because in her previous life, she loved to read romance and fantasy novels
that was set in medieval era. She was fascinated by the politeness and well-mannered
etiquette of the people with each other that she really looked up to.
In
her real time, the word “gentleman” is starting to join the history of her
country, not that she doesn’t believe that there was still out there, but the
fact that they just becoming fewer as time goes by. It is saddened to hear, but
her real world is becoming to be that way. Liberation. It might be the reason why she was really
hooked by the people in this time, but she was also dismayed for those arrogant
and greedy nobles, especially, those badly treating the commoners like they own the world.
With
this principle, she was determined to not follow the plot of this harsh novel to
her character. She will change the fate of the lady.
*Please follow my blog for more story.
you can follow using your email, just go to home at the right side bar.